Ex- England skipper Lewis Moody has announced he has been found to have motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet face the full consequences of the muscle-wasting condition that took the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was involved in the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and won several English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast two weeks after finding out he has the condition.
"There's something about facing the future and being reluctant to really process that at the minute," he stated.
"It's not that I fail to comprehend where it's going. We comprehend that. But there is absolutely a unwillingness to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, talking alongside his wife Annie, explains conversely he feels "calm" as he concentrates on his current welfare, his family and planning ahead for when the condition progresses.
"Perhaps that's trauma or possibly I handle situations in another way, and when I have the information, it's simpler," he added.
First Symptoms
Moody discovered he had MND after noticing some lack of strength in his upper arm while working out in the gym.
After physiotherapy didn't help the issue, a number of scans indicated nerves in his central nervous system had been damaged by MND.
"You receive this diagnosis of MND and we're appropriately extremely emotional about it, but it's so strange because I feel like nothing's wrong," he added.
"I don't sense ill. I don't experience poorly
"My indications are very minor. I have a small amount of muscle loss in the hand area and the upper arm.
"I'm still able to accomplishing anything and everything. And hopefully that will continue for as long as is feasible."
Condition Advancement
MND can advance swiftly.
As per the non-profit MND Association, the condition kills a third of people within a 365 days and more than half within 730 days of detection, as ingestion and respiration become harder.
Therapy can only slow decline.
"It isn't ever me that I experience sorrow for," commented an moved Moody.
"It's about the sadness around having to inform my mum - as an only child - and the ramifications that has for her."
Personal Impact
Talking from the household with his wife and their family dog by his side, Moody was consumed with feeling when he spoke about telling his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the devastating news, stating: "It was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"They're two wonderful boys and that was rather devastating," Moody stated.
"We sat on the settee in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both wrapped up in each other, then the dog bounded over and started removing the drops off our faces, which was rather funny."
Moody stated the emphasis was staying in the moment.
"We have no solution and that is why you have to be extremely militantly focused on just accepting and enjoying everything now," he said.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been truly fortunate that the only real decision I made when I retired from playing was to spend as much duration with the kids as feasible. We don't get those years back."
Athlete Association
Elite sportspeople are disproportionately impacted by MND, with studies indicating the prevalence of the illness is up to six times elevated than in the broader public.
It is considered that by reducing the oxygen available and causing harm to motor neurone cells, regular, strenuous exercise can trigger the condition in those previously predisposed.
Rugby Playing Days
Moody, who gained 71 England caps and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in recognition of his courageous, persistent style to the game.
He played through a fracture of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once caused a training-ground confrontation with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he left a practice gear and started participating in collisions.
After entering as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the rear of the line-out in the crucial phase of play, setting a platform for half-back Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to score the match-winning field goal.
Support Network
Moody has previously informed Johnson, who led England to that victory, and a few other former players about his condition, but the others will be discovering his news with the broader public.
"There shall be a moment when we'll need to rely on their assistance but, at the minute, just having that sort of love and acknowledgment that people are present is what's important," he commented.
"Rugby is such a excellent family.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even if it finished now, I've valued all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"When you get to call your love your profession, it's one of the most significant blessings.
"Achieving this for so considerable a time with the squads that I did it with was a delight. And I understand they will wish to support in whatever way they can and I await having those conversations."
