🔗 Share this article

On occasion, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles believes he is “the most exceptional individual alive”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his grandiose moments can become “detached from reality”, he explains. You feel invincible and you tell yourself, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I’m better than them … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

In his case, these times of heightened ego are usually succeeded by a “emotional downturn”, a period when he feels deeply emotional and embarrassed about his conduct, rendering him especially susceptible to criticism from those around him. He came to wonder he might have this personality condition after looking up his traits through digital sources – and subsequently diagnosed by a professional. However, he doubts he would have accepted the diagnosis without having previously arrived at that understanding on his own. “If you try to tell somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – most notably if they experience feelings of superiority. “They’re in a delusional world that they’ve constructed. And within that framework, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Although people have been identified with narcissism for more than a century, definitions vary what the term implies the label. People frequently term everybody a narcissist,” explains an expert in narcissism, noting the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a professional assessment, he suggests many people hide it, because of significant negative perception associated with the illness. A narcissist will tend to have “a heightened sense of self”, “a lack of empathy”, and “a strategy of using people to enhance their social status through things like pursuing power,” the specialist clarifies. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he adds.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I didn’t invest in relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in The Disorder

While up to 75% of people identified as having NPD are men, studies indicates this number does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that women with NPD is more often presented in the vulnerable narcissism type, which is under-identified. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be a bit more accepted, as with everything in society,” says a 23-year-old who shares content on her dual diagnosis on digital platforms. Frequently, the two disorders appear together.

Individual Challenges

It’s hard for me with dealing with feedback and not being accepted,” she says, “because if I hear that the problem is me, I either go into a defensive state or I completely shut down.” Although experiencing this reaction – which is known as “ego wounding”, she has been attempting to address it and listen to guidance from her close relationships, as she doesn’t want to slip into the negative conduct of her previous life. I used to be manipulative to my partners in my youth,” she admits. With professional help, she has been able to reduce her narcissistic traits, and she notes she and her current boyfriend “maintain an agreement where I’ve instructed him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, if I say something manipulative, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mainly in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of supportive figures during development. I’ve had to teach myself over the years the difference between suitable or harmful to say when arguing because it wasn’t modeled for me in my formative years,” she comments. Every insult was fair game when my relatives were belittling me in my early years.”

Root Causes of Narcissistic Traits

Conditions like NPD tend to be connected with childhood challenges. “There is a genetic component,” says an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “linked to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to manage during childhood”, he states, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was based on meeting certain expectations. They then “persist in applying those familiar tactics as adults”.

Similar to other of the NPD-diagnosed people, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The 38-year-old explains when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, stay out of our way.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve high marks and professional advancement, he recalls, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “good enough”.

As he grew older, none of his relationships ever worked out. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he says. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He didn’t think experiencing genuine affection, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, similar to his experience, finds it hard to manage emotional regulation. She is “really understanding of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he explains – it was in fact, her who initially thought he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Subsequent to a consultation to his doctor, John was referred to a therapist for an diagnosis and was told his diagnosis. He has been recommended for psychological counseling via government-funded care (a long period of therapy is the main intervention that has been proven effective NPD patients, experts say), but has been on the waiting list for an extended period: The estimate was it is expected around in a few months.”

Disclosure was limited to a handful of people about his NPD diagnosis, because “there’s a big stigma that the disorder equates to toxicity”, but, privately, he has embraced the diagnosis. This understanding allows me to understand myself better, which is beneficial,” he says. Each individual have accepted their narcissism and are pursuing treatment for it – which is why they agree to talk about it – which is likely not typical of all people with the condition. But the presence of online advocates and the development of online support communities indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number